Please hold while I transfer your call.

Let me just preface this post by saying that I am not a bad person.  I work for a non-profit and make very little money.  I spend this little amount of money on gas to visit my grandparents and my friends back home.  I just sent an email to find out how I can get involved with an organization that teaches people English and how to read.  I am generally a good person.

Certain things, however, push my buttons.  They make me go crazy and want to punch kittens.  This is a very short list of things, but one of the most irritating things that I have to put up with is telemarketers.  

Back in the day when I used to have a personal landline, I would simply hang up on these people.  The problem that I have now is that they aren’t calling me; they are calling the place that I work.  I can no longer just assume that someone calling me from a call center located somewhere in northern India is just trying to waste my time.  Sometimes, they are calling for a real reason.  This makes my life difficult.

I have tried to take all the available preventative measures.  I have had all 6 phone lines that we have put on the no call list.  But still these centers cannot take a hint.  So I’ve started to become very creative.  In fact, my favorite strategy is one that I learned from the telemarkerters themselves.  They often like to call and wait for me to answer only to put me on hold the second I pick up the phone.  So I wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.  Being that I have nothing else to do, I continue to go through the whole process of getting told about a product (usually some kind of advertising package) and pretent to be extremely interested.  This usually goes on for about 15 minutes or so, sometimes longer if I am feeling creative enough to make up a bunch of crazy questions.  After my slew of questions, of hashing and rehashing the details and talking them into a better deal, they think that they have me hook line and sinker.  At the very end of our interaction, the question from them is always the same, “Do you have authorization to allow us to charge this to your place of employment?”

And my answer is always the same, “No. But if you hold on one minute I will transfer you to my boss.  You’ll have to explain this whole thing to him just as you explained it to me.”  Before they can say anything I quickly push HOLD on my phone and let them sit there.  

Eventually they hang up.

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~ by sisypheanfeat on 29 March, 2009.

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